Many parents view their children as THEIR possessions, even trophies. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 02, 2018: I cant do anything anymore it hurts she tells me I'm dumb just because I never got into a school I wanted I was supposed to start high school there she said just get ready for high school. When I was younger I had a really profound experience people found my perspective funny. Last report card, I got a C in math. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. Putting money into savings for acting school or classes. I'm turning 22 & I'm not even allowed to have sleepovers or go for sleepovers. All three of us are crippled to think on our own and in deep resentment and depression. The scouts and cadets did instill survival instincts into me and in the moments I was free when I was younger you would just see me sprinting bare foot through the forest like some Scrawny tiny white tarzan. Pretty damn poor family. There is a great deal of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it. My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. I'm just about to turn 35, I have no wife and I have no children. Truth. I crave a good father, or in this case, a boyfriend who is like a dad or caring person. by | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser Children are still developing and they require a lot of positive attention and care, comparing them to others is not the correct way to go about it. This led to stunted emotional development and made it hard to have a normal level of self-esteem. over a year ago. Family vote once upon a Time my dad's vote was to be counted as 3pts mom2ots bros1pt me,? I have a stored temperdue to being suppressed and snubbed from even showing negative irritation, get blamed for everything they do or that is not of their limited paradigms, heavily criticized for not wearing what clothes they got me (out of "love") or for keeping even a 2 day stubble. I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. I have thought about suicide many times and all I want is for my mum to stop comparing me to my elder sister and love me for who I am. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. When she found out of course, she sent me to a therapist who didnt even help. I went to university despite her and worked in the IT sector. He exemplifies the immature parent. Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. Question: Why do my parents always compare me to my sister? Mark mentioned one of the most important things to remember when you're . At least that what my family says. Might it help if you got a math tutor? Like the indent of my life on the footprint on the earth.. Emotional & Mental Health Emotional & Stress Management Relationship, Friendship & Family problems My parents never understand me! They will always choose the path of the least resistance all through life. Being an overbearing parent leads to pushback from the child and is not worth it in the long run. I am probably doing everything possible to get better (at my expense - if it would do any good to sue my parents I would). The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. No it wasn't 0, it was worth 1/2pt! (i'm the eldest) i also remember trying to open up to my mother but that didn't end well either. They're very emotionally and mentally abusive (They stopped the physical abuse once I reached 15). I'm super curious and I just want to know the why but then I am always talking back. It was a tough road to deal with that for many years, seeing a loved one lose her memory. Do they want to live through you-you have to live YOUR OWN life, not THEIRS. Answer: In families where there are 2 children or more, parents compare children. If you want to get notified by every reply to your post, please register. Family Troubles-Parents Divorced, Low Grades, Feeling Alone? I have low self esteem and an inferiority complex. Siblings treat me the same. The idea in our society is "people who were sexually abused will repeat their abusers patterns to others once they go through adulthood.". My parents were quite pushy about grades with my brothers. I've never had money so I've never been able to take care of myself. My dad never molested me. But psych yourself up now for getting off to a strong start in September. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. Pls I need a word of encouragement from u. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. Answer: You and your mother should do joint counseling. My family puts me down and make me feel horrible to the point where I feel like killing myself. I thought it was pretty darn cute and, to be honest, I was . Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 15, 2018: Seek counselling either by talking to a close friend, relative, or a psychologist. Really I'd put my soul in it. You are a worthwhile, beautiful person. So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! Published: 12:19 EST, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 . Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. Kids are sadistic with one another. Don't accidentally tear down your children's confidence. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. every single conversation turns into grades somehow, and that isn't even an exaggeration. Talk to a school counselor regarding your parents. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Though I did live in a brand new house custom built. I'm 13 and 6'2", makes me feel way too self conscious, Press J to jump to the feed. On the other hand, children who saw their parents as putting more emphasis on achievements over being kind to others were more likely to experience negative outcomes, such as depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem, behavior problems, criticism from parents, learning problemsand lower grades. for the childish thing, yes i am childish but can you really blame me? And with the rules I don't mind following the rules no matter how stupid I think they are but they NEVER let me ask why. I already told God and I know he's already helping me. kindergarten girlfriends. I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. somebody on the internet on July 04, 2018: I'm glad I'm not the only person who's going through this. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. Not being in your child's life can greatly impact there self-esteem and self worth, it can make them feel like they're not worth anything, even your time. But I runs in the family I guess. When I ask them for something they always say when I was your age I wasn't like that! But nope not to them. Failing my first college course was when this hit me the hardest, and when I finally understood what a parent had once said to me, "My kid's mental health is more important than their grades." Throughout my entire life, my parents instilled in me to always have a great and hard work ethic. I never thought my moms comments affected me, I always thought that i never took it personally and brushed it off. Each child is unique. Question: What should I do when my mother prevents me from doing things I want? Then after a few years, I decided to take classes in community college. All throughout my childhood i knew i had an abusive mother because one of my teachers in elementary opened my eyes. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. I think the other parents wanted them to practice with me but I was just a girl so they put me in left field. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Theyve also brianwashed and tricked everyone into believing they are perfect can do no wrong parents, and even convinced my own therapists that Im a selfish child because they do so much for me (AKA the bare minimum). Don't blame them. He's Spanish and Mexican. She went and sulked on me for days. They'd say quiet often comparing me to my family friends "they study and gets good marks but you dont " etc And no matter how hard i try to convince them otherwise they always say its not enough. There are parents who do not believe in praising because they believe that it softens and spoils kids and will make them conceited and think too highly of themselves. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. I don't care really anymore, I have my own drive now. I got to see them again after a month. I'd be better if being fertilizer to sustain something else life. It costs quality money to get quality help. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. Unless your child is incapacitated (heaven forbid), this is not okay. Answer: Your father is an abusive parent. i dont like the consequecenes. Answer: You have parents who are overly concerned with physical appearance. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. I'll be joining Jujitsu next once I take my health back. My mom he found in Mazatlan Mex and brought her here.) They often view their children's physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected and/or changed and may denigrate their children in order to make them shape up. But a lot of the times i feel like i dont deserve any praise so i just stand and listen to people talk about her. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. Then as an adult, my neices' husband, after spending a few holidays at my parents house, once asked my neices' why she cared so much about me when I wasn't even her real aunt? and now they keep asking why i hate them so much,AND how the bible said to care about your parent,your parent is the number one.. um what about the children?nope bible didn't say anything about that for them.. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 17, 2018: Talk to a trusted relative regarding your situation. But I keep thinking back to both experiences and both they make me smile. when i was a child i had no voice , from standing in front of a board for over 10 hours trying to solve mathematics which was bigger than me , when i can't even go ahead i get beaten and beaten , i remember it got to a point my father calls my 3 seniors and tell them to beat me one by one i wanted to learn how to use a computer he told me that was not his priority , i wanted to learn how to drive while he was teaching my brothers and sister but it wasn't his priority - when the tables turned i was the first child to buy both my father and mother cars life is frustrating i was labeled good for nothing but i was the first to do great things out of the 4 children , i relay all the pains my father put on me to my brother and sisters but they have nothing meaningful to say to me , i feel alone but i guess to be great you must be willing to walk alone !! My uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc Where raised. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. Last report card, I got a C in math. My mother was given away by her parents as an infant, then taken back at ten years of age when she was old enough to work and be considered useful. Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. Raising A 'Teenager From Hell'? I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. I got nothing but positive words. Please seek psychological help. An extremely conscientious A student of average ability may have to study all night to obtain those A's while a C student of above-average ability may be bored with school and have a more relaxed attitude towards their studies. Your parents & brothers are toxic-GET AWAY FROM THEM! I've always been drawn to acting or maybe comedy, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd make a good bad guy. I hesitate to feel proud of myself ever because in scared that my parents won't look at it to be proud of. My meds have stabilized my mood. What do I care? I just want to let you know "anonymous" and "no account please" I think you are both really special and strong! If you make it, who knows. For examle, exams are coming up and right now I have a 88% average in science and I want it to be a 90% at least but my mom is making me stress even more and my dad doesn't even ask or he would too. But for me I can't keep up with that and my average is an 85% which is not the best. My mother was did all of this, and molested me. My Parents Don't Like my Partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), High Pressure for High Grades Leads to High Kids, Effective Ways to Talk to Your Kids so They will Listen, Boosting Your Child's Performance: Encouraging Self-Motivation, Why You Need To Sleep On It: Sleep Helps Your Brain Consolidate New Memories, Why Kids Don't Tell Their Parents They Are Being Bullied, And How To Spot The Signs. My experience is coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? No point having uncontrollable cannon arms. How to Make Life Easier for you and your Kids. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 20, 2018: Get help & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your family. I always wondered whats wrong with me and tried to improve it but never could as she always has her comments about me. Parents who value achievement over kindness can have a negative impact on kids' development, study finds. What should I do? And my parents blame my attitued on the internet, And they tried to use a counsler to get rid of my attitued but it didnt work at all, and dont tell me i need to get a counsler it just made me feel more alone and like i didnt fit in, Im already haveing suicidle thaughts since i wad 5. I spend my entire time doing homework and sometimes i have so much that i just simply forget some pieces. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 01, 2018: Get counselling & LEAVE THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. If you are old enough, implement ways to move away from your father. Always try things(beneficial) that are..UNKNOWN! Parents should encourage their children to think outside the box and be creative. Some parents want their children to be physically/emotionally flawless. She essentially tells me I'm wasting my time and money by pursuing anything musical. 10 checks for me and now I felt really empty. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. They are of the belief that there is safety in following the prevailing and/or majority opinion. now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. They believe individualities are flaws that need correction. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. But why, would I ever intentally harm anyone or anything? There are individuals who aspire to uncommon goals and unique careers. It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 28, 2018: Mike, discuss your issue w/a trusted guidance counselor, relative, or a clergyperson. I just had sex for the first time in over 2 years. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on February 02, 2018: Your parents shouldn't ground you but get you academic assistance until your grade improves. No child should suffer. They're gonna be more successful than me. You should first discuss this matter to your father; however, if he isn't receptive, discuss the matter w/a trusted relative or better yet, a counselor. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 03, 2018: Please seek counselling. Those who criticize their diametrically different children's innate abilities and characteristics are often invalidating their children's innermost psychological core. There are either low cost or free counselling services. . Please talk to a trusted relative. I should be homeless, rather dead because I wouldn't pan handle I'd just wander off in the woods. Parents believe that they apply corrective measures because they care for their children. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. I'm lucky to have her. I started before noon and it was dark when I had to stop. That would have made me confident, today! Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 03, 2020: Talk to a trusted relative about this. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. Things got progressively worse as years went by and I got siblings. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children.

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